Thursday, 4 January 2018

How to Dump a Guy (Without Being a Total Douchebag)

Jacket: H&M | T-shirt: Zara | Skirt: First & I | Boots: Mango

Because my dating life is an absolute disaster, this is a topic I'm getting quite experienced in. I'm really bad at saying no to begin with and I'm way too often caught in situations where I have to reject someone. These things just sorta happens sometimes. So whether your Tinder match didn’t quite live up to your expectations in real life, or you gave out your number in an act of compassion on a drunken night out, it's completely okay to change your mind. Sometimes we're just stuck in awkward situations where we have to tell someone that we’re just not interested. You don’t have to feel guilty about it and the good news are that you don’t have to be a total douchebag about it either. Here are my tips on how you dump someone the correct way…

1. Don’t ghost them. Ghosting is a fairly new term for something that has taken place since the beginning of time. It seems as if ghosting is the easiest way of slowly backing out and avoiding any kind of contact, but it’s awfully rude in my opinion. You’re wasting time on both ends and it can actually be more hurtful than if you were to just confront them. Also, it’s gonna be really awkward if you bump into each other one day and he still doesn’t know what went wrong. Have a proper confrontational conversation with them about your "relationship" and if they don't take no for an answer, then I personally give you permission to ghost them from then on out.

2. Take the blame. As cliché as “it’s not you, it’s me” is, it is in fact a really good, and often pain free, way to acquaint your lack of interest in proceeding in a relationship. Just be like “I’m at a point in life where something like this isn’t going to work for me.” They can still hate your for it, but they can't really blame you for it. Some things are just out of our control and even the people you've dated know that.

3. …But be honest. For future reference, you might want to tell them if they did something you found extremely off-putting. Wouldn’t you want to know if you did something annoying that you might be able to change? Let them know if you’re repelled by a jar of old toenails they keep hidden under their bed or if their unhealthy obsession with Game of Thrones is too much for you to keep up with.

4. Distance yourself. If you're extra nice and it's an option for you, it might be a good idea to NOT keep in touch. In my personal experience, it's better to stay out of the way so everyone can move on without getting distracted. If you go to school with them or work with them then that's kind of a bummer. However, you can always go for the good old unfriending option on Facebook. That should send them a clear signal you're done for real and then they can't slide into your DM's again.

How do you dump someone without being a total douchebag?
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