Monday, 25 December 2017

Old Flames and Hometown Sweethearts

Top: H&M | Skirt: Monki | Boots: Zara

It's Christmas time which is also means it's the season for old flames and rekindling long-lost romances. Opportunities for second-chance romances arise and now you finally have the chance to talk to that cute boy two grades above you in high school. Now that you're running into old flames around town or at that bar everyone you know from high school will hit up (which is exactly why I'm writing this blog post now), you're probably faced with the question: Should you take advantage of the situation?

For me, coming back to my hometown is always such a strange feeling. It’s like time stands still there. I usually don’t deal with my emotions and I always try to leave agony and misery behind and move forward. This results in a lot of feelings I totally forgot about coming back to the surface.  Everything just hit me like a brick in the face when I ran into an old flame the other day at the bar. I  had my back turned towards him the entire night and I most definitely didn't invite to conversation.  While I tried to convince myself that I didn't want him to approach me, I knew deep down that I was dying to talk to him. Just knowing his presence was in the room made me weak at my knees. When I went to the restroom to look myself in the mirror and make sure I didn't have spinach stuck in my teeth, I saw my 15-year-old self in the reflection. I felt all silly and giggly about the whole situation but when I came back to my senses, I remembered that "friends", with whom we have history with, are not ideal candidates for a holiday fling. There might just be too many emotions at stake when you remember each other from the days of braces, acne and questionable fashion choices. Besides, going home for the holidays is a weird time to start something new. The cosy, Christmassy, romantic vibes in the air of way too familiar settings makes it so much easier to fall into the arms of an old flame. It's all very tempting, but is it ever a good idea to go after something you already consider a closed chapter?

While I'm still trying to convince myself that avoiding communication was the best thing to do, I can't help but think what if...? Would rekindling an old love mean that you have to be prepared for long distance relationships and deep talks about “what went wrong between the two of you all those years ago”? But what if you come back next year, meet in the same spot and then they’re married off to someone else? The good thing is that you will all be leaving town again as soon as the holidays are over, but the history you have together could make things a little more complicated (and more meaningful) than of you were to approach someone completely new. If you are looking for that special someone, maybe this is the right thing to do? If you never try, you'll never know what could happen. What if your past meets your present and it all comes together in a moment of perfect bliss? Sometimes what you’re looking for has always been right under your nose...

Would you ever hit up an old flame?
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Monday, 18 December 2017

The Curse of Being an Only Child

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Late one evening after a few glasses of red wine, one of my close friends asked me how I felt about everyone always asking me questions about being an only child. He asked me if I ever got tired of answering the same questions over and over again and that really made me think a lot. I don't get tired of answering questions, but once in a while you get those really stupid comments that really get on your nerves. "Isn't that, like, really lonely?" or "oh, I would just hate that so much" are the two worst responses you can give me. What do you want me to say to that? Most times I just brush it off and smile, but what I'm really thinking is "Listen, sweetie... It's not like I had much of a choice and because of comments like yours, I'm not so fond of it either." Personally, I think that being an only child sucks and this is why...

The misconceptions & 'The Only Child Syndrome'

When most people find out that you're an only child, they automatically just assume that you're greedy, spoiled and selfish. These assumptions will be used against you in an argument whether they're true or not. You cannot hide and you cannot run from 'the only child syndrome'. The only child syndrome is a label that's always gonna be attached to you so you gotta learn how to toughen up and not care too much about how others perceive you. I don't let other people define me by that. I define myself.

Always feeling like a complete weirdo

From a young age, I've learned to be alone a lot. Although I've learned to appreciate my alone time, I've always felt like a bit of a weird loner. Seeing other kids with their parents and siblings have always made me feel like there's something 'wrong' with me. It made me feel like my life was incomplete or at least just emphasized the idea that there was something missing that SHOULD have been there. It really made me feel like a weirdo and that really, really sucked.

The fear of ending up alone will always haunt you

The worst of everything is probably the fear of dying alone. If I don’t get married or have children later in life, it is a possibility that I might end up entirely alone. When my parents aren’t here anymore, I’m not gonna have any close relatives unless I choose to have children. On the bright side of things, you learn to really appreciate and adore the people that are in your life. My friends and my cousins are like sisters and brothers to me and I keep them very close to my heart.

I hope some of this debunked any misconceptions you've ever had or maybe you could see yourself in what I've written. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section!
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Thursday, 14 December 2017

The Year of the Toxic Call Out Culture

T-shirt: Puppyteeth | Scarf: Vintage | Shoes: Zara

Damn, 2017. If there’s one thing you’ve taught me, it’s that the Internet leaves no room for human mistakes. The amount of call outs and online rage storms that has taken place this year is absolutely insane. Everywhere you look, there's someone being called out about RuPaul knows what. In my opinion, it has gotten to a point where it’s too much. It’s almost as if the point of calling people out has disappeared. There isn’t any connection between the call out culture and its original context anymore. It’s just all a big blur of people calling out people just for the sake of calling something out.

No one strives for change or address the real issues. Instead, we point our fingers at someone and yell "WITCH" or "BURN THEM AT THE STAKE." We gang up on them and put them into these boxes which we rise ourselves above. It makes us feel confident and like social justice warriors. It makes us feel like we’re better than them and that we help defeat all evil in this world. Instead of giving them space to adjust and understand the bigger picture, we brand them as monsters.

This call out culture is so toxic. I wish that everyone would take a step back and rethink what’s important to call out and what isn't. My theory is that this was a reaction to the chaos of 2016. All the deaths, Brexit, the Presidential Election etc. must have had an influence on this mess. I think that people had just had enough. They needed to stand up to the bullsh*t. While speaking up about issues is an amazing and liberating thing to do, we need to know our boundaries. We need to understand that change doesn't come by creating a wall between the 'good' and the 'evil'. I fear that the way this call out culture handle things, might have the exact opposite effect. No one wants to change their perceptions and opinions if we don't show them sympathy and stop making them the enemy. So why not help them become better rather than humiliate, demean and lower them?

What are your opinions on this toxic call out culture?
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Monday, 11 December 2017

Live Your Best Life

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Jacket: TopshopSweater: Archive by Alexa | Dress: Zara | Boots: Mango

For me, 2017 has been the year of self-love. I've really worked my @$$ off to get a different mindset towards life and how I could improve as a person. I came to realize that I have to start from within. You can't help others, if you don't know how to help yourself. I wanted to share the steps, I've been following in attempt to live the best life I possibly could. Bare in mind that I'm only 22 and I'm still a student at university. While my current situation might be different to any of you reading this (and the fact that I still have a lot to learn about life), I believe you these steps will help you get on the right track.

1. Love yourself. This is the key to everything. Look at it this way; if you hate yourself because you have ugly teeth, try to find one tooth that you really like and focus on that. Eventually the other teeth in your mouth won’t matter that much because you have that one damn fine tooth and you’re proud of that one tooth (that's what Bob the drag queen taught me). The most important relationship you have in life is the one you have with yourself so you better start loving yourself. Loving yourself also includes taking care of yourself mentally and physically. Groom yourself, say no to things you don't want to do and be your own best pal.
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2. Know your identity. People who don’t have an identity often tend to become subjects for someone else’s agenda. Figure out who you are and then get to know that person. I think that knowing your identity ties in with not caring about what others think of you and that is such an important step, if you wanna become a much happier self.

3. Enjoy the little things. It's important to enjoy the little things in our everyday lives. When we cherish these little things, we'll eventually see that life ain’t that bad. Appreciate things such as coming home on a Friday afternoon knowing that you have a whole weekend ahead of you. Praise the small gestures you do for yourself such as buying a new issue of your favorite magazine. It can also as be the tiniest things such as sniffing the pages of a brand new book or finding extra money in your pocket. It can be popping a really good pimple (I know... I'm so gross) or the first sip of your first coffee of the day. You become a much happier person and get a more positive attitude towards life.
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4. Buy those shoes. I’m an advocate for treating yourself and spending money on yourself, if you're financially stable. As they say; If there’s something you want in life, go get it! I know that’s probably meant to have a deeper meaning of some sort, but that’s how I interpret it. Life is so short so remember to be gentle with yourself and to treat yourself once in a while.
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5. Dare to dream. Dare to dream and dare to dream big! If you're scared of what others might think about your dreams and aspirations in life, then don't tell them. In my opinion, you should be allowed to dream, realistically or not, and no one should be able to take that away from you. I truly believe that if you don't limit yourself and dare to dream big, you'll achieve great things in life. I've attached a song by J√≥nsi in which he sings "We should always know that we can do everything. Go do!" It's a brilliant song and even more so when you listen to it with these words in mind.

What are your tips for living your best life? I'd love to know about it in the comment section.


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Thursday, 7 December 2017

4 Style Lessons 'Home Alone' Has Taught Me

These kinda posts seem to have become a thing on my blog and now that it's Christmas, I wanna talk about the style lessons I was taught by the Home Alone movies. My all time favorite Christmas movie is 'Home Alone 2: Lost in New York' which I've watched a million and 10 times. It sparked my love for New York City and my interest in '90s fashion. Here's what the Home Alone movies taught me in terms of style...
  1. A well dressed woman with statement gold earrings equals a strong, powerful woman. Kate Mccallister looked phenomenal and she always wore gold earrings and went against all odds to look for her missing son. She succeeded both times. Meanwhile, another fierce and well dressed woman in New York City took action and punched both Marv and Harry when she thought that they had sexually assaulted her. She also happened to wear gold earrings. You go, girl!!

  2. Camel coats look great on everyone. It's literally one of the only styles of coats that I've seen which will suit both men and women as well as young and old people.

  3. Funny quotes makes a good Christmas jumper. How many Christmas sweaters with the prase 'Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal' written on them have you seen so far this year?

  4. Little boys in knitted sweaters and bauble hats look freaking adorable. Kevin looks so cute, innocent and childlike in his cozy knitwear and I'm all about that look. Can you guess what I'm gonna dress my future children in during Christmas time?
How many times have you watched 'Home Alone' so far this year?
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